NFL WEEK 8 REVIEW

Wow. I'm not even sure how to begin this weeks review other than with the word wow. Just WOW. Week 8 is in the books and I can honestly say that this may be my worst week of ALL-TIME. Not just this season, all-freaking-time. I usually start to make lineups on Friday night and then as my partner on the website knows, I change it by Sunday around noon. That was a mistake. A BIG mistake. I woke up Sunday morning and my wife said "are you coming to church?" I replied, "You know I have fantasy stuff to do." She rolled her eyes and left for church. Had I just went to church with my wife and not touched my lineup that I made on Friday night, I would have finished in 6th place for $3,000. Instead, I mixed and matched and changed everything up and finished in almost DEAD NUTS LAST (199th out of 200). Seriously, what the hell? After I told my wife about the disaster that took place, her reply you may be asking? "Lesson learned. Next time maybe you won't put football over the Lord like Tom Brady put football over his wife." And she walked out of the room. That's cute. Adorable. I'm pissed off.

For Week 8, I played on DraftKings. Let's dive in.

Contest: NFL $100K Stiff Arm (Single Entry)

Buy-In: $555

1st Place Payout: $15,000

Min-Cash: $1,000

Result: 199th Place.

QB: Sam Ehlinger. I broke the sacred DFS rule this week. I initially had a Jared Goff stack (Lions) but decided to switch it up and go with the salary savings with new Colts starting QB Sam Ehlinger. What a mistake this turned out to be. My thought process was that he can run and he may do just enough to get a win against the Commanders. The Colts are dog water and Ehlinger threw for 201 yards, ran for 15 yards, had 1 fumble lost, and did not throw a touchdown. Sam got me 8.54 DK points. That's about enough to throw up, then throw up again.

RB1: D'Andre Swift. I like this dude a lot. But, the Lions are a mess right now. They are now 1-6 and only the Steelers rival them for possibly the worst team in football. Swift was coming off of an injury but practiced in full all week. However, he did not get the volume that we all assumed he would get this week as Jamal Williams not only got the volume but ran 2 touchdown's in around the goal line. Swift was no where to be found. After the game, the Lions coach said that he doesn't believe Swift is quite ready to go yet. OK then jackass, why wasn't he listed on the injury report and why did he practice all week IN FULL then? Swift ended the game with 27 receiving yards with a touchdown but only 6 rushing yards. SIX. 14.30 DK points for Swift at a $6,800 salary isn't going to win anyone a tournament.

RB2: Raheem Mostert. In what was expected to be a shootout with the Lions since their defense is trash, Mostert had a decent amount of expected value this week. The Dolphins are really good and assuming they would be leading this game for most of it, if not all of it, I expected Mostert to get a lot of carries and get us some points this week. The Dolphins had different plans where they just wanted to throw the ball every time. Mostert ended the game with 64 rushing yards and 3 receiving yards for 7.70 DK points. Sigh.

WR1: Wandale Robinson. The Giants were 6-1 heading into this game. How? I have no idea. It's hard to roster anyone from the Giants other than Saquon Barkley because I don't think they are good at all. Their records says otherwise but in my opinion, they are not a good football team. With their entire receiving core hurt, I expected Robinson to be the guy that Danny Dimes threw to this week. Danny Dimes told me to fuck off as Robinson had 2 catches for 15 yards and 3.50 DK points (the lowest of my core players).

WR2: Tyreek Hill. This was the ONLY bright spot of the team this week. Tyreek is on pace to break the all-time receiving yards records in a single season this year. This was going to be the bring-back in the Goff stack had I actually played Goff. I decided to keep Hill in and he didn't disappoint. Hill had 12 catches for 188 yards and got the 100 yard bonus for 34.50 DK points. As awful of a human being that he is, he's a great football player and fantasy option in what seems like a pass-first Dolphins team now. Smash.

WR3: Amon-Ra St. Brown. The Sun God. Also coming off an injury (concussion), St. Brown was off the injury report and ready to go against the Fins. Also part of my non-existent Goff stack, the Sun God had 7 catches for 69 yards and 13.90 DK points. Without a TD though, that isn't good enough.

TE: Noah Fant. This was a punt play as tight end usually is. I was hoping Seattle would score a lot of points as the resurgence of Geno Smith this season gave me some hope. However, he didn't even look toward Fant and Fant wasn't even the main tight end that was seeing volume this week. Noah ended with 2 catches for 19 yards. Yuck.

FLEX: Jonathan Taylor. What happened to his guy? Last year he was the best RB in the league by far. This year he is doing absolutely nothing. It may be because the Colts suck and they aren't running him as much since they need to be passing each week. But, damn, Taylor isn't doing anything at all. I played Ehlinger and Taylor as a skinny stack hoping that maybe Ehlinger can throw him a TD. Wrong. Taylor had 0 catches and ran for 76 yards and lost a fumble. 6.60 DK points for a guy that costs $8,000 is complete misery.

DEFENSE: Chicago Bears. This was the only defense I could fit in after I made all my changes Sunday morning. After what the Bears did to Belichick and the Patriots last week, I was hoping for more of the same against Dak and the Cowboys. However, that was also wrong as the Cowboys put up a 49 burger in a rout of the Bears. The Bears got me -1 DK points. NEGATIVE ONE, that's correct.

Results: 199th place out of 200 for $0.

Well, this was a fucking disaster! 6 out of my 9 players scored UNDER 10 DK points. You practically can't even try to make that happen if you were purposely trying to not score points. But, somehow here we are. This marks the 4th straight week without cashing. As my friend and only commenter of the website said last week, we need to see some improvement. And QUICKLY. I will gladly forget that Week 8 ever happened and start to look into Week 9 matchups. Also, I'll be going to church this week whether it's on Saturday or early on Sunday. You live and you learn.

Best Finish: 10th (Week 2)

Worst Finish: 199th (Week 8)

Cashes: 2/8

Weekly Numbers: -$555

Yearly Numbers: -$998

• Week 1: -$535

• Week 2: +$1,445

• Week 3: -$333

• Week 4: +$645

• Week 5: -$555

• Week 6: -$555

• Week 7: -$555

• Week 8: -$555

Jerseys Purchased: Tyreek Hill, T.J. Hockenson

Leave a comment if you'd like! See you all next week for Week 9! We need a fucking CASH!

-UnitedWeZag